When silent treatment is not so silent


Do somebody you know ignores you or gives you the cold shoulder for no apparent reason? I am so guilty of these. I sulk & keep things to myself to avoid confrontation and drama. As a millennial lingo describes it:  You is petty and you is extra!

What is sulking? According to Longman’s dictionary, to sulk means to be silently angry and refuse to be friendly or discuss what is annoying or upsetting you. Giving someone the silent treatment screams attention. It may be your friend, parent, child, significant other or co-worker, the list goes on. Your text messages are unseen or deliberately ignored. It doesn’t take much to notice that someone is ignoring you or avoiding eye contact. The sulker wants you to feel invisible, like you don’t exist or matter. Then you think if there’s something you might have did wrong or said for them to avoid you like a plague.

What triggers us when we give people the silent treatment? When things don’t go our way, instead of discussing the problem, we remain in a perpetual state of bad mood. We  stubbornly think we are right, refuse to compromise. We want the other person to feel that they have wronged us or did something that we do not approve of.  More than the sullenness, we tend to shut out and avoid any human contact.

What do we do in situations when we are given the silent treatment? The worse that we can do is to also give them a taste of their own medicine. When we give them the upper hand if we give in to what they want… To feel guilty and miserable…

Give them space. Time will heal everything as the saying goes.

Pause and Think.  There are words that you blurt out not to be disrespectful, but the tone and manner you deliver it, may have a negative connotation. There is a right timing and place for these kind of conversations.

Be calm…Do things that you normally do .Don’t get affected by the situation. Try not to overthink.

Reach out.  You did your part even if they choose to ignore you.

Be kind, be sympathetic. You don’t know what their going through.

Action speaks louder than words. Let them know you genuinely care by showing sweet gestures.

Be open and honest.  Repressed emotions lead to stress and anxiety.

Let go of the pride. It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong. Learn to accept the shortcomings of person involved.

When in doubt, always choose love.

Although we sometimes have the urge to use the silent tactic when dealing with our own problems, we should be aware of the consequences it may bring. It is liberating to be free of the heavy heart, restless mind and soul.

Have you ever dealt of being in these kind of situation before? I would like to hear your thoughts or experiences in the comments section.

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