Letters to the daughter/s I’ll never have

I will never have a daughter. But I have a loving husband and two sons who fill my days to the brim that I never feel the lack of anything in my simple life (except maybe a few more hours of sleep?). But in the rare moments of peace and tranquility this mother indulges in on occasion, I often wonder if she was here, what would our life be? What would I tell her? How would I mother her? Would she hate me? Will it be possible for me to hate her?

Then I realize that these questions will never be answered because what is not will never be. But, granting that I have two sons, two beautiful nieces and a nephew, I thought maybe I could write these musings down so that someday they might read it or share it with their daughters, or maybe even my own granddaughters.

Hence, what I’ve learned in life as a woman would still be imparted to the future female branches of this family tree. And so these letters begin, from a mother who, in my 5 year old’s vocabulary, is a “NUB” in this thing called motherhood


On God

Dear ones,

I would like to start this series of letters with the most important topic I think you should learn in your young hearts. And this is about God our Father. I have come to know Him through a Catholic church at first, then a Baptist church, first Fundamental, then Conventional Baptist, whew…. those were a lot of churches, and a lot of spellings…. And through my life I have learned that religion, denominations and sect, cannot separate us from HIS love.

Yes my dear ones, that is right. I believe establishing a relationship with Him is more important than being a faithful member of any congregation or being part of religious practices. You see dear ones, these things follow, when you have Him already in your hearts. But who is He really? Granting that while we are still here on earth, we could never see Him physically? or hear His voice? or feel His touch? My loves, sometimes the intangible things, they are the ones that fill our hearts with so much love and happiness it overflows.

In the 38 years that I have known Him, I will describe Him to you as He was to me.

HE IS A ROCK…, solid, never wavers. I have been in different phases in my life, the religious do-gooder, the angst ridden teenager, the rebellious young adult, yet His faithfulness never ceases to amaze me. He is still there through all of it, not withholding His blessing, guidance and love even when I am unfaithful .

HE IS LOVE, eternal, unending. Many times in our lives we will be rejected by the people we love and value the most, but He never will because He is love. Nobody really knows true love unless he knows God. And His love never fails.

HE IS A MIRACLE WORKER. He does the impossible. In the bible he raised up the dead, turned water into wine, made the blind see. That same God is still Him today and he can work through you, no matter how untalented and insignificant you think you are. He can use you, if you only let Him…. in faith.

He is everything you will ever need in your future lives. Trust me on this, because a relationship with Him will keep you anchored through life’s ebbs and flows, storms and drought, tears and joy.

Even if you forget Him, He is still there, that is how awesome He is. And all the letters I will write you will have a part of Him in there. Because I love you, and I hope that His love will shine through me too.

Sincerely, your Nub mom,

to be continued…

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