If the timing is right

The beginning of the new year heralds a lot of emotions, recollections of the distant past, regrets and comebacks. It signifies the things that you want to change and the good habits that you want to keep.

But the new years eve is not the same as Cinderella’s transformation at midnight. It is more than that. We are still the same person with the same persona that can’t be fixed with a just a flicker of a magic wand. Our character is a summation of our thoughts, our fears and our ideals. In the Disney movie “Soul”, each of the personalities was assigned and honed to fit the individual. The main character was longing for that “Spark” of life. It is all that there is in living?

Don’t we ask the same questions. Where is the lie? Is my thoughts fooling me? Am I suppose to be somewhere? Am I suppose to be someone living the dreams in a non existent parallel world? Our minds can only imagine the endless possibilities in store for us.

Anxiety has become a staple in my life, it is debilitating, or the depression still is haunting. It is etched of the fiber of my being that I need to constantly face. Finding your motivation is something that you work on, like personal hygiene, you have to do it everyday. There are days that you loose all the spark of life and all you can feel is gloom.

We find ourselves with the simple moments that breathes inspiration to our grief stricken soul. Looking back, the dull moments in the past are a catalyst that shape my viewpoint. In the midst of the insecurities, low self-esteem, and chaos in your mind, the overwhelming peace can still be sought. We pray more when our hearts are troubled. We don’t realize we are the “Lost souls” that needed to be saved. Hence,` I truly cannot rely on my own efforts.

I can only pray for wisdom and for the right timing of the best things of yet to come.

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