When nothing seems to be going right. Truly that “when it rain, it pours”. It is hard to conceal the sadness and pressure that we feel. Sometimes the only way to acknowledge our pain is to let the steam out.
By doing this, we let our our anger, stress and frustration out. But sometimes these emotional outbursts are hard to control, it comes out naturally whether we like it or not. It maybe panic attacks, uncontrollable tears or a temperamental mood.
In a perfect world, we would prefer comfort over discomfort, familiarity vs the unknown, and choose peace vs anxiety. Is it possible to be happy despite the unpleasant situations? We are happy when the circumstances favors a positive outcome.
The difficult situations leave us no choice but to have courage. It becomes easier when we have a good support system which is not always the case. We tend to leash our anger towards other people, even though we don’t mean to hurt them.
We cannot control our circumstances, we cannot control the people who are around us, but how we react to difficult situations develops our character. The waves may toss us back and forth but we continue to steadily hold our feet on the ground.
Each and every one is has stories that remain untold and dealing with personal issues. Don’t let the perfectly curated social media stories tell you otherwise. Be gentle and kind because we don’t know how hard they are trying just to survive today.
What may seem like an ordinary day for some, would be a day of facing your Mount Everest. A daunting task that renders you powerless, bombarded by an endless array of obtrusive thoughts that doesn’t makes sense.
No one will understand the stress that is building up. An excuse to quiet down the voices in your head is to do nothing.
I know you have been this path before, but how can you unsee those dark clouds of desperation? The guilt, shame that you will never be enough. A tormented soul can only be quenched by the living water. So help me.
Some days are bearable, but today is a difficult day that you dread the familiar zone of uneasiness.
Not today, I begged, the plans to be productive seems obscure. Succumbing to the struggles, but remember it is not over yet.
One day, the relentless thoughts will fade away, if it does, it can also come back, prepare for the worse, pray for the best possible outcome, but for now just hang in there.
A year later after the pandemic anniversary or covid-versary , the lockdown situation had indeed changed our perspective on humanity. The widespread crisis force people to resort to panic, fear, and constant worrying. It made others to become angry, resentful and contemptuous. Hardly any were prepared for the inevitable, no one could have predicted how long the plague would go on. We all have collective experience globally and our reactions are exclusive to what we are experiencing at the particular moment. The changes we are slowly adapting to are necessary in able to survive, in any way is an inconvenience to several, but it left us no other option but to embrace it.
What I realized is that recovering from a pandemic is not linear. There are days that you want to be productive in spite of the hurdles. Some days you just want to live inside a bubble. In a sense, like the virus, fear and paranoia also weakened the spirit . Thankfully, a year later, the vaccine roll-out has been a needed break through. It would also mean slowly lifting the ban on small gatherings.
Up to this point, there is still the threat of contracting the disease, so we have to be hyper vigilant. We all know someone that has been stricken with this deadly virus and with the new variant, we would try to avoid it at all cost. A careless outing or meeting, or an unnecessary trip might be a potential for a contagion. While our travel plans are on hiatus, safety procedures are already being implemented, there will be always risks when traveling, so we plan accordingly.
- A wake up call for me, is how I neglected my over all health. The momentary pause forced me to reevaluate my habits. Over the years, I was focused on things other than my health. I am guilty of poor oral health that is unknowingly made its debut in a form of myriad dental issues. It took a pandemic to drag myself to make doctors and dental appointments. Now, I strongly believe in the statement that an “ounce of prevention is better than cure.” and “It is now or never.”
2. Another eye opener are that meaningful relationships are often taken for granted, without us knowing it. Our presence and undivided attention will make a huge impact more than our phone scrolling. Toxic relationships are being endured to a certain extent. We don’t always have control with the environment that we are in, it is best to observe boundaries to ourselves and others.
3. This is not an “AHA moment”, but is should be given that mental health should be on top priority in any given situation. We remind ourselves that a healthy mental state is as important like daily exercise. Depression is an invisible illness, it can be debilitating and can be paralyzing. Overcoming anxiety myself, is an uphill battle, I have to tell myself that accomplishing something is better than nothing. To an anxious mind, simple tasks can be overwhelming.
4. Although, the picture looks bleak for now, the lesson drawn from this dilemma is that it is not too late to start. It is not too late to start re organizing your life. What a difference an uncluttered, organized space makes. I’m in the ongoing process of decluttering a overflowing wardrobe filled of unworn items. Organizing the chaotic pantry and maintaining the structure takes a huge amount of conscious effort and decision making but is rewarding in the end.
5. It is also not too late to start doing and making calculated mistakes. I am taking interest on building an investment portfolio, which should’ve been done eons ago. Truly, I had been sidetracked, I was/stil am procrastinating. Thankfully, there are financial advisors to be of enlightenment.
6. I also admit that my low carb bread baking will always be a hit and miss, eventually, it would turn out okay. Well, there is always some room for errors and improvement.
7. Another insight that came out of this predicament is that instead of chasing success and accumulating wealth, we should seek significance. The gist of the very timely article by becoming minimalist is that finding significance in life is touching and making a difference in the lives of others
Overall, what came out out of this undesirable situation, that it is humbling to know that still we have a lot to learn. We don’t know what the future will hold. One thing is certain is that we desperately need God’s direction, guidance and protection.
We may or may not have been guilty of oversharing on social media. We constantly share post of something cool we did, ate or a place we went. The reasons behind we share such posts maybe we like to seek attention, validation or approval?
We constantly reach for our phone to document milestones or highlights. Sometimes, we forget to be present in the moment, rather we carefully curate the filtered photographs and edit the selfies, the laughline and frownlines. It seems inauthentic when we cover our flaws. Its is great to look back at the photographs, sometimes the memories will all be that is left. Also, capturing candid smiles and stolen shots are my favorites.
I admit that I don’t always make the best life choices. Journaling and posting make us realize how we had changed hopefully for the best. There’s a saying that goes that we can buy food but not appetite. With that said, I am still struggling and learning to eat to nourish and be satisfied. By now, we should all know what food is beneficial to our health and yet we still make unwise food choices.
I’m always browsing for fashion, home inspo and saving food recipes and hacks that I never tried. It’s 2021, we still can’t travel, not that our budget allows us to do it. I believe action is better than wishing or dreaming. Making plans and executing the plan. While it is easier said than done, we are not in a rush to go anywhere too soon.
I fear the uncertain. In my inadequacies, God’s strength shines through. Slowly trusting God with the unknown gives me courage. I know I don’t have to fight the battle on my own.
We overshare our proudest moments. How I see God’s goodness through the eyes of my son, my husband, my family and those who are around. How I am thankful that in the hardest times, we found comfort in the Lord. That is worth sharing about.
Listening to the trending song “Paubaya” was a punch in the gut, it could be an anthem for all the forsaken/forbidden love stories.
Anyone can relate to the story, how about who you-thought was meant to be was indeed just meant to be a part of your chapter… Sometimes, you could still see his smile, and could feel a warm tear in your cheeks whenever the thought of him appears without warning.
There are many songs made about lost love and the distant memory still hold its charm whenever the lyrics plays on repeat in your head. It is tempting to look back and ask yourself what went wrong, there weren’t any real answers and the closure is left for the imagination.
Alas, there is that special someone who was always meant to be with your special person, only the person is not you…as painful as it may feel, letting go and moving on is a process…
A feeling that your heart could burst anytime.
Your painted a poignant poetry, the reason I write stories because ours will never be.
The memory is deceiving.Was the romance even real or did it it only existed in my head? Or only the parts that I wished to forget.
There is one day a year , couples get to be overly mushy, sentimental, corny and cheesy without getting judged or cringed upon.
One day a year when we can tell our partner how they complete us and all those cheesy romantic movie lines. How silly is it that such a holiday dictates couples to act differently (more affectionate than usual). Even in a pandemic, we go out on a limb to find that perfect rose or pressure ourselves cooking that special meal.
Some lovebirds show affection differently. Some are showy, others likes privacy. Some could care less about celebrating Valentine’s. It is nice gesture to show genuine appreciation holiday or not. If you don’t get anything it is okay too. Less expectations and more appreciation for because it is not measured by what we get in return. Love should’t cost a thing according to JLo.
Be happy for the IG friend who created a Pinterest worthy epic Valentine themed charcuterie board. To the single, to the Divorcee,who lost a spouse, heart broken, no holiday should make you feel unworthy of Love. Due to pandemic and economic reasons, it is perfectly fine not to have planned a fancy dinner. If it’s within the means, and you can afford extravagance, nobody will stop you either. Dont let a holiday force you to do things that is not within the range or not in the books.
True Love is tested during tough times, through the years after the youth fades and petals wilted.When your tired. When you need a break. When you needed that exra hand. Whenever you get that support during ordinary and trying days. Through it all, the stories of how we overcome our struggles as a couple instills a lasting memory. Although it wouldnt hurt to cherish the memory with a box of chocolates and flowers too!
When to move on, let go, or keep on holding on is a question of time.
I believe that one day, we will reach a point in our lives that we will realize that there will always be things that we desire to have, we want to change, things that we refuse to accept, and things that are permanent.
I have always think that success equals happiness, but it is the definition of what satisfaction is for each individual that counts. Being comfortable in one’s skin, finding your purpose and becoming the true self you envision is one of the goals that we need to work on everyday.
I used to get upset will the losses I encountered. The what ifs and the whys filled my heart with resentment. I realized that all the choices we made lead us to the road we are taking now. Instead of saying I should have done better, I tell myself, what can be done differently next time I encounter the same situation.
If we make a list of everything that happens to us, the highs outweigh the lows depending on how we picture it. A heartbreak would pave the way of finding the right person. Broken things that cannot be mended needs to get replaced for a functional one. There are no right explanation to every experience we have, we just learn to accept what our reality is.
Have you seen the new Marvel series “Wanda Vision” at Disney plus?I had watch the first 5 episodes and it surely captured my interest, it will keep you on your feet and guessing what will happen next. The television show scenes homages the 50’s,60’s,70’s and 80’s era and the actors did a great job portraying the role. I am an avid Marvel fan, although I am not versed with the language, I have to cross reference with the forums to keep up.
In the series, Scarlett witch or Wanda created an alternate universe for herself and is controlling the minds of people in the small town against their volition. It is so exciting to see what will go on the next in the series.
Would love to hear your thoughts. Until next time.
I have always imagined my 40th birthday to be a spectacular event, it is a special passage of time to be celebrated like 7th, 18th, 21st birthday. A quarantine birthday is both unique and unforgettable. A birthday during the pandemic full of actualizations.
Only a small circle of relatives are able to attend. Nothing extravagant. A simple and meaningful celebration is more than I ever could imagine it to be. I have all that I needed and so much more. There were no elaborate plans of going on a trip, eating out or stressing over a four course meal.
Being 40s signifies a lot of changes in our body. It didn’t happen overnight. The weight gain adds a toll to our aching joints, not to mention the fat that seem to draw affinity in our belly and thighs. The decrease in muscle mass, bone density and hormone changes. Is there an extended warranty on our body parts?
The pandemic forces our body and mind to slow down and prioritize what is important.
Self care- it starts with a clear mind. A mental and health detox. Eating whole foods, back to the basics.
Unplugging, disconnecting with social media and reconnecting with your passions.
When I start making small changes, it had a domino effect in my relationships, well being, mental state. I start becoming a version of myself that I always wanted to be.
We can live as productive and thrive in our 40s and beyond.
Quotes on ageing and wisdom:
“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” Ann Landers
“Listen to your elder’s advice. Not because they are always right, but because they have more experience of being wrong…”
“We don’t stop laughing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop laughing.” – George Bernard Shaw
“Most people don’t grow up. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging.”
― Maya Angelou
“When you’re young, you always feel that life hasn’t yet begun—that “life” is always scheduled to begin next week, next month, next year, after the holidays—whenever. But then suddenly you’re old and the scheduled life didn’t arrive.
― Douglas Coupland
“Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, for you shall only live it once. Be comfortable with growing older.” ~Louise Hay
Take care of friendships, hold people you love close to you, take advantage of birthdays to celebrate fiercely. It’s the worrying — not the years themselves — that will make you less of a woman.” ~Patti LaBelle,
“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” ~Abraham Lincoln
“I love living. I love that I’m alive to love my age. There are many people who went to bed just as I did yesterday evening and didn’t wake this morning. ~Maya Angelou
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
Ageing is a privilege not a predicament.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.
Wear your years with pride, like a badge of honor, for you have conquered. You have thrived. You have survived!
There’s one advantage to being 102. There’s no peer pressure
Social network has become an emotional outlet nowadays. Times have change, the internet community has become a powerful tool in marketing and communication. Usually whenever we see post online, we ask ourselves, are we are seeking approval, validation, or attention or do we just want to air out our sadness and frustrations?
Do we have an hidden agenda? I believe that supporting friends in social platform doesn’t cost anything, it can simply be liking and supporting a a good cause. Sometimes, posts can be repetitive, we can always filter the content that we want to see, without being disrespectful.
We post our life events, our simple highlight reels that may seem mundane to others. We post the simple things that make us smile, like a meal we enjoyed. It may be interpreted as humble bragging but in reality, these are just tiny snippets of our lives orchestrated just to embrace the moment.
Being coop out at home, we long for social interactions. Sometimes, the highlight of our day would be a group chat message, a funny meme, a video call or a text message out of the ordinary. Would be nice to get an unexpected message from time to time that doesn’t involve a favor. Like a simple” I am thinking of you- hope you are doing well- kinda thought.
Generally, we check our messages first thing, when we think of it. Usually it could be grocery lists, errands to run, reports to finish or more work stuff. It’s hard to ignore especially when the sender can see the message was delivered and seen. This instant messaging feature is violating our sacred space, it just demands a response right then, not to be rude of course.
Funny story, I received a friendly message from an long time guy friend, what I thought was a romantic gesture was just an attempt to borrow money. Don’t get me wrong, these are hard times, I know he is sincere and it takes a lot of guts to ask for favors. I hope I can help him without thinking that there will be any issues or obligations, especially with money involved. It’s just that complicated.
What I realize is there would always be some sort of misunderstanding when it comes to direct messaging. Sliding into DMS is the new way of saying hello when you want to have a private conversation with someone. I am so glad we are at the age past the dating scene. Hopefully, we are wiser, not judgemental, be respectful and not to assume anything.
Hope you are entertained, just a break from serious posts.
There is a different sense of urgency in pandemic times. We all want to get in a safe position, away from fear, restlessness and worrying. It feels like 2021 has a great potential since we are all starting from the rock bottom. What it seems like is a continuation of the apocalypse. Groundhog day all over again in steroids.
Nobody is complaining anymore. It seems that majority has adjusted to the safety procedures. We are still in survival mode, we go with the flow, and slowly we are adapting to the change.
Sometimes it can be physically and emotionally straining. We have to preserve our sanity and grasp the reality. The more we have to take care of ourselves. Sometimes we have to be selfish. We have to prioritize what is important and what is not. We have to distance ourselves to what is draining our energy.
There are things that causes unecessary stress and drama. Not all battles are worth indulging into.
Worries and problems are part of life. We deal with them the best we can and tackle them as they come. It helps to have a worry journal. You can organize your thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper.
Observing and respecting personal boundaries is a must. We can’t change other’s belief or opinion. It is not our job to agree with everything.
We have our highs and lows. When we are happy, we tend to be lax and think we are invincible. Stay humble. Savor each joyous moment, because they soon be a memory. The bitter days wont last either.
At the end of the day, we realize that the non trivial matters isnt worth sweating about. And we could focus on healing our hearts and mind.