Life

The Ugly side of depression

40A3E0C1-2280-4411-AB64-26925A9DAFEFTrigger warning!

There is the side of mental illness that is silent, invisible to the naked eye.

Luckily, there are episodes that are mild and bearable. Sometimes you can still cope and cheer up. Some days are not the best.

Sometimes you sleep excessively, and there are nights you need a sleep aid.

Some days are a thousand intrusive thoughts running through your mind at the same time. This is one of those not so good days.

It is a numbing, paralyzing feeling that normally pass after a few days. It is usually caused by hormonal change and can easily be triggered by stressful situations. Small things that usually don’t bother you becomes a major issue and that you can be an annoying pain in the arse to deal with.

Sometimes the loneliness creeps in for no reason. Like an uninvited visitor, you can’t stop it when it comes. You just cope with it.

You can still go on with your day to day routine. It’s just that you have this uncontrollable impulsive behavior. You become obsessed with certain tasks like cleaning and organizing, or you have an impulsive shopping habits. There are times that certain things that you enjoy don’t interest you anymore.

Overthinking is overwhelming when you think that you had done or said something wrong and you second guess yourself. The scenario repeats in your head, you want it to stop but it won’t.

You seek validation but you don’t want people to know because you don’t think they would understand.

It is becoming overly sensitive what other person thinks of you. It is paranoia.

There are panic and anxiety attack signs that are obvious, but they can be manifested by unseen signs like rapid heart beat and discomfort. You are screaming inside but you cannot let it out.

It is thinking the worst possible scenario at all times. Being afraid to be happy because you know that it wont last.

You feel sorry that other people have worse problems than you, and you feel emptiness and insignificance

What helps me during anxiety times is

Prayers

Journaling- Making a worry list

Gratitude list

Sleep (melatonin 1 mg)

Increasing serotonin and dopamine levels

Seed cycling (hormonal imbalance)

An elliptical workout or cycling, balanced nutrition (protein, healthy fats, low carb) Omega-3s

Talk therapy, nature therapy

Keeping connected with friends and family

Extra self-care

Medications and medical care

Having anxiety and depression is not the end. You have a fighting chance.

That my friend is called surviving  and managing a panic and depressive episode. We fight it but will not succumb to it. It is an undertaking we emerge as warriors.

If you think someone is considering suicide, get help immediately

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline-1800 273-8255

Source: Healthline, The mighty

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