• Choices

    7C7E2C53-9CAF-4557-9D84-E1CA06A85D1EThis social isolation situation has me dumbfounded and second guessing myself. So many emotions. The days that had flown by, for me, can either be described as okay and not so okay days. Some days, I have the energy to to productive tasks, other days, I have to force myself to shower. In, between days are reserved for stress cooking and mindless repetitive scrolling for anything.

    The other day, I have this overwhelming feeling of guilt. I comtemplated that I should be contributing something myself to alleviate the suffering of the world. I should’nt be netflixing my days away while the frontliners are sacrificing their life and all. I should’ve sign myself to volunteer somewhere and not take a time off from my job in the health care. The more I ruminate, the more I am doubting my decisions in life.  If I should’ve taken a nursing degree or any essential professions. I should’ve signed up long time ago. If I had know that this will happen, I should’ve been more prepared. I envy the people I know who are thriving from home based work and made suitable career choices.

    I realized that who am I as a person now is a summation all my collective hardships.  I cannot be resilient now if it were not for all the struggles. There is no easy path around. We have to take a road that is meant for us to trudge. There is no looking back unless you want to see how far you came and how many boulders that you dodged. The callouses in our foot are the constant reminders that we can overcome fear and pain.

    I realized that pandemic or no pandemic is not the time to start a new career. It is not about making drastic life decisions. Life doesn’t have a reset button, if it does, failure won’t be an option. But, it is still not too late to make sensible and practical choices.

    Saying that this is the new normal is an understatement. Adjusting has always been the norm. When a sudden event change poses a threat, we have an natural survival instinct and once the threat is gone, we adapt to a new routine. We learn from our mistakes hopefully and evolve to a wiser human being. 

  • A Question of When

    What’s happening in the world now, is like watching a post-apocalyptic movie scene, where you are protagonist and instead of zombies, you were being chased by a virus.  The movie which we are hoping for a twist to the story, that there is an alternate ending to which the main characters are spared and everyone get’s along in the end.That would be a satisfying conclusion.

    It is no longer a question of if or how, but a question of when the inevitable will come upon us. The world is testing our coping and surviving skills more than ever. It’s what we have prepared for all our lives: the rainy days, the days that we would need to stock up on strength, compassion and resilience. 

    We picture the distant future as something to look forward to. The trips we carefully planned in our heads. The we are excited for the vacation leave we saved for excursions and reunions. We envisioned our children reaching their utmost potentials

    But fear has it’s funny way of creeping into our minds. The reality is that road is unclear. The future is uncertain, we thought that we had it figure out. We thought that if we have a great portfolio, a stable job, we are all set. We value our security like we are invincible, that we can steer our lives the way we want.

    As we adjust to our new normal, maybe the change is for the good after all. Our focus is to keep rowing, amidst the turbulence. I think we are all going to make it together.If we look at the bigger picture, that are our lives our intertwined, and that we can make a difference if we become a part of the solution. Instead of bickering and pointing fingers, we can think of viable plans and long term solutions. 

    There are things that we thought we cannot live without. We appreciate today that we can hug our loved ones because in just a blink of an eye we can be isolated. The luxury of traveling, going to the movies, gym, eating out  will never be the same. Not being able to worship services physically is testing our faith.

    It is question of when. When time comes, we will realize what is important. To find great joy in the small things. To be selfless and kind. That is what humanity is all about.

  • Back to reality

    B84022E0-578C-489B-B5CA-8ADC0E2B3EE1.jpegAs the long stressful/restful holiday break comes to a conclusion, we look back and reminisce on all the good tidings, food and celebrations that we had. Now that it’s over, we start facing the reality, after all the decorations are put up, all the presents are unwrapped and shoved into your bedroom closets. Facing the back to work jitters, the protruding belly after engorging the sweet desserts silently depositing in your fat cells are a reality check.

    We don’t want the festivities to end. Over indulging on the Netflix and updating your social media like you are having the best time of your life.  Like old saying goes, all the good things will eventually come to an end.  Bills have to be paid and dishes has to be cleaned.  The new decade is a new start of hopes as cliche may it sound. We leave our sorrows behind and on to the new great chapter full of possibilities. Oh how we have grown and changed during the past ten years health wise, mentally and aged of course.

    What do we aspire when we make our resolutions? Is is good to aim for an high unrealistic goal? Do we start making promises to ourselves and break them the day after we lose motivation and lease on life? Do we fall back to our old ways or habits? Do we go back to were we are or be the best version of our selves?

    The key to accomplishing a task depends on the drive called self-efficacy. Psychologist Albert Bandura defined self-efficacy as a belief that an individual has the ability to accomplish a specific task. Along with motivation is grit, persistence and resilience are qualities to consider. Repetition breeds confidence.

    How do we even start? The hardest step is usually the first step. We have to start somewhere. Putting our best foot forward as we go on our day. Sip our coffee with delight as we get a headstart using all our senses to enjoy.  Breathe and savor the moment and thank God for new beginnings.

  • Anti-social media

    EA566E03-D56F-4474-8528-05EB3D4BA354.jpegFor someone who be on social media a lot, I think it should not consume majority of our time. It has indeed become a part of our daily life. Our day is not complete without check what our facebook friends’ status.

    It has become an addiction for me and a stress reliever. Not knowingly, what is does is create an cycle of doing nothing, a mindless repetitious scrolling looking for something that would be interesting. We become a victim of comparing ourselves with someone’s highlight reels. If people would be mindful what they post, it will be different, I said in my head.

    The beauty of social media is that we can be anyone we want to be. We pretend to be someone we are not. We can portray on social media a life of fantasy and excitement.  That is social media, it is not our reality. It’s purpose is for only for entertainment.

    What we see in some posts are unrealistic, an idealized filtered version of themselves. For some people, seeing these posts can have a negative effect because it can be depressing and can bring low self esteem.

    When we present ourselves positively, do we like to seek validation? If we share our misfortunes, do we seek sympathy? Or are we just overanalyzing stuff? What are our motives in posting? Are our posts trying to say that we are better or more successful that our peers?

    Are we truly happy for our peer’s achievements or do we get bitter? We don’t see their struggles, we don’t hear their complaints. We shouldn’t judge a person on social media by what they post or don’t post. We shouldn’t take things seriously. (Which is what I am doing by writing this article, LOL)

    What I am trying to say that, viewing things differently from a positive perspective will bring a change in our mindset. Social media will be here for a long time. Trying to filter who we follow and what we see in our newsfeed would be good for our well-being.

     

     

    J

  • In search of the perfect gift

    FA9082B6-98BE-4E86-8475-FAE9B4993BC9The most wonderful time of the year can be the most dreaded time to most people. Trying to plan the perfect thanksgiving and holiday meal can be a daunting task. Picking the perfect table centerpiece that will match with your table setting can be arduous when you are working with a tight budget with zero craft skills.

    The holidays are fast approaching.  A sumptuous holiday meal surrounded by a festive decorations such that featured in the magazine cover, sounds like a perfect holiday dream. Tradition dictates that holidays should be lavished with expensive gifts  surrounding a tree. Can we truly enjoy the holidays without forking a ton of money on gifts and food? Not everyone can afford an extravagant meal on holidays.

    As we are prepping for the gift giving season, it can pile us a lot of debt if we are not careful. Why do we we give gifts? Do we give because we expect to receive something in return? We put a lot of thought in our gifts, because we do care of the recipient. Giving gifts doesn’t have to be stuff or material things. May it be a card or a simple gesture, a phone call that reminds us that we are being thought of.

    Everyone has different way of celebrating the occasion. The holidays are supposed to be a joyous occasion. But it can bring feelings of isolation and anxiety because of unmet expectations. It can bring sadness because of a loss of a loved one, health concerns or money issues.

    What I remember most during these time are the smiles and laughs during family gatherings and occasions. Opening gifts with your name on it are just an icing on the cake. I do remember the enticing aroma of homemade meals, the warmth of hugs and anticipation of the wonderful memories yet to come.

     

  • The Trending Graham De Leche


    Aisley’s Sweets

    Have pastries perfect for anyone who love food. These baked goodies make great present for any occasion, but it also works just as well for everyday treats.

    For today’s post I’m featuring their  trending Graham de Leche

    The perfect dessert for all occasions


    Get the best of both worlds with this variation of the popular Filipino dessert Leche flan and Graham ref cake.

    with that evenly distributed cloud meringue cream that surely satisfy your sweet tooth.

    For more information you can easily contact them through Facebook page Aisley’s Sweets

     

  • For bitter or worse

    808749B9-6E5C-4E31-BA25-68FE887070CF.jpegRelationships are hard. There are moments when you are on cloud nine. When you both agree on almost everything and there are days you are not even on the same page, not even on the same book!  Even the slightest inconvenience annoys you. Your beliefs and goals doesn’t seemed to be aligned anymore, You feel that your feelings doesn’t matter, to someone who used to be your world.

    It is not your fault. It is never your fault. You loose your self trying to please them. Pride tells you that you are not wrong. You hate it when someone criticizes when you are just barely making it through the day. Appreciation would’ve made someone’s life bearable. But you never get that pat on the back. Of all the things you have did right, what is remembered are the things you didn’t do. An apology would’ve been nice.

    You try to compromise and be open minded. Sometimes you feel that your voice seemed unheard. You feel that you are doing more than your share in the relationship. It is more work that it becomes stressful. Your give everything you got,but it is not enough. Until you just loose it. You just loose it.

    Expecting a little too much or better to lower your expectations, I learned to accept the realities.  That you will be hurt by the same person that you Love the most. You feel numb that the tears doesn’t even make any sense anymore.

    You hate this feeling. Of not able to control the situation.  Of breaking down over and over again. There comes to a point that you are both tired and overwhelmed. When everything is happening all at once. You try to be the strong one but sometimes, you get disgusted. Your heart get broken to little pieces, itty bitty pieces.

    The moment you will realize that this feeling will soon pass and the cycle continues until you break it. Or until someone gives up.

  • Life Happens

    DBED2F35-0B06-4803-BE16-3C42B3BB1D6B.jpegThere are days that we succumb to our fears, we give up before the battle starts. Stress becomes overwhelming that we don’t have any motivation in our cells. You dread doing the monotonous 9-5 job and living paycheck to paycheck and the cycle continues.

    Everybody struggles and have problems, each of us carry an invisible load. It is so quick to tell somebody who had encountered a traumatic experience to lighten up and think positive because we don’t know what they are going through. We act tough until something devastating happens to us. We all have been through a difficult stage in our lives. We shouldn’t judge anybody period.

    When we focus on the negatives, our outlook in life becomes dimmer. What and who we listen to on the daily basis affect our thinking. We surround ourselves with people who can be our tribe, who have the same aspirations and will build each other up.

    Life becomes so overwhelming when we want to accomplish everything all out once. When we prioritize unimportant things that drains us mentally, emotionally and physically. We need to focus on life, work, balance and sanity to avoid chaos. Finding a outlet to de-stress should be in our to do list also.

    Life happens when we are busy making plans as the saying goes. We can’t really be prepared with unexpected events. The inevitable still happens whether we like it or not. While we are able, we try to keep up with the things that we can control. If we know our time on earth is limited why not we love harder and treat each day sacred as if it our last? Chase our goals like it’s nobody’s business. There would not be time to worry and wallow.

  • Wild goose chase

    4A76218D-1087-485A-ACC5-F9E13E60760ADo you ever had that one thing you that you desperately wanted more than life itself and you know that it will be hard to achieve.  Something that would fill the void inside of you and will make you feel “complete” May it be having the latest gadget or having the latest trend purse that you save every penny to buy.

    Social status and peer pressure dictates what is the norm of what you should be doing in right now. As you scroll down social media, you read about a lot of self-improvement talks, about how to’s : mindful living, minimalist mindset, organizing you life, hustle like a millionaire, parenting the right way, traveling hacks, keeping your mental health in check and the lists goes on.

    Browsing the internet, looking at your peers excelling in every aspect in life, makes you wonder, if you are doing something wrong or you have chosen the wrong field. Just looking at the innocent post about the achievements of your friend’s children, makes you think that your parenting is not right or if you should try harder to get to what they should be doing at their grade level if not more.

    Are we behind in life if we are not performing what the norm tells us to do? Waking up early in the morning, eating low carb breakfast, doing meditation, packing your kid’s bento lunch with cut-out heart shape veggies and fruits and preparing a gourmet dinner. By mid thirties, we should have kept a healthy lifestyle, running a 5K, having a creative hobby.  While these are nice goals to keep in mind, the things that we do or don’t do shouldn’t define our worth.

    We strive hard to be what we want to achieve in life not because of what the Joneses are doing. We all have different roles, gifts and nobody should feel ashamed of what we did or what we have accomplished. Our life would be less complicated if we are not pressured to be some version of ourselves that is not real. At our own pace, we could pursue goals that are meant for us and be grateful for the outcome.

  • A Beautiful Mess

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    It just happened, all of a sudden, someone pop into your mind for no reason you can’t think of.

    As if there is a strong energy directed at this person that you must hear from him/her.

    Like pieces of puzzle you want to put together,

    Maybe you saw a post that triggered a thought. Maybe you want to tell this person you are thinking of him/her without trying to sound intrusive. You feel theres something wrong but just cannot pinpoint what it is.

    The universe is conspiring that something important is bound to happen.

    There is a voice inside of you telling you to give him/her a call or send them a text without really looking for an response.

    I am okay…Three words convey a lot of hidden meaning. What they really want to say is life has just been so hard right now. It means that he/she don’t want to talk about it but maybe will do when the time comes. Or it maybe “I just need a hug right now”.

    You can’t help but pray for this person.

    Whatever it is, will be.

    Everyone had their all fair share of trials. At one point in our lives, we all have been broken. Our lives shattered that we don’t know how will we can ever pick up the pieces.

    You never know when someone is thinking of you. Praying for you. And it all make a difference. To someone who had their last straw, a simple smile or I am thinking of you, can make a difference.

    It does and it did made a difference in my friends life. She was at one point about to jump off a building. She was in a brink of of desperation and just had about enough. I didn’t know what situation she was in but I truly believe that prayers were heard and that moment was a truly turning point.

    Out of a blue you hear from someone you haven’t heard from ages. Someone telling you to hang in there despite the difficulties, may be a sign that God is telling you something.

    Your may not see your worth, but God does. Embrace the tears and brokenness. Don’t wait until you are ready to answer Gods calling.  God uses the rescued to rescue His people( Christine Cain)  While we are still a mess, God saw the beauty in us.

    If you feel a tug in your heart to reach out to a someone.do it.  It may be just a sweet note saying that you are thinking of them. It may be a just a simple prayer. The simplest thing,  may change someones life. Like it did mine.

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