• Pandemic Valentine’s

    There is one day a year , couples get to be overly mushy, sentimental, corny and cheesy without getting judged or cringed upon.

    One day a year when we can tell our partner how they complete us and all those cheesy romantic movie lines. How silly is it that such a holiday dictates couples to act differently (more affectionate than usual). Even in a pandemic, we go out on a limb to find that perfect rose or pressure ourselves cooking that special meal.

    Some lovebirds show affection differently. Some are showy, others likes privacy. Some could care less about celebrating Valentine’s. It is nice gesture to show genuine appreciation holiday or not. If you don’t get anything it is okay too.  Less expectations and more appreciation for because it is not measured by what we get in return. Love should’t cost a thing according to JLo.

    Be happy for the IG friend who created a Pinterest worthy epic Valentine themed charcuterie board. To the single, to the Divorcee,who  lost a spouse, heart broken, no holiday should make you feel unworthy of Love. Due to pandemic and economic reasons, it is perfectly fine not to have planned a fancy dinner. If it’s within the means, and you can afford extravagance, nobody will stop you either. Dont let a holiday force you to do things that is not within the range or not in the books.

    True Love is tested during tough times, through the years after the youth fades and petals wilted.When your tired. When you need a break. When you needed that exra hand. Whenever you get that support during ordinary and trying days. Through it all, the stories of how we overcome our struggles as a couple instills a lasting memory. Although it wouldnt hurt to cherish the memory with a box of chocolates and flowers too!

  • Wandavision

    A different perspective

    When to move on, let go, or keep on holding on is a question of time.

    I believe that one day, we will reach a point in our lives that we will realize that there will always be things that we desire to have, we want to change, things that we refuse to accept, and things that are permanent.

    I have always think that success equals happiness, but it is the definition of what satisfaction is for each individual that counts. Being comfortable in one’s skin, finding your purpose and becoming the true self you envision is one of the goals that we need to work on everyday.

    I used to get upset will the losses I encountered. The what ifs and the whys filled my heart with resentment. I realized that all the choices we made lead us to the road we are taking now. Instead of saying I should have done better, I tell myself, what can be done differently next time I encounter the same situation.

    If we make a list of everything that happens to us, the highs outweigh the lows depending on how we picture it. A heartbreak would pave the way of finding the right person. Broken things that cannot be mended needs to get replaced for a functional one. There are no right explanation to every experience we have, we just learn to accept what our reality is.

    Have you seen the new Marvel series “Wanda Vision” at Disney plus?I had watch the first 5 episodes and it surely captured my interest, it will keep you on your feet and guessing what will happen next. The television show scenes homages the 50’s,60’s,70’s and 80’s era and the actors did a great job portraying the role. I am an avid Marvel fan, although I am not versed with the language, I have to cross reference with the forums to keep up.

    In the series, Scarlett witch or Wanda created an alternate universe for herself and is controlling the minds of people in the small town against their volition. It is so exciting to see what will go on the next in the series.

    Would love to hear your thoughts. Until next time.

  • 40th Pandemic birthday

    I have always imagined my 40th birthday to be a spectacular event, it is a special passage of time to be celebrated like 7th, 18th, 21st birthday. A quarantine birthday is both unique and unforgettable. A birthday during the pandemic full of actualizations.
    Only a small circle of relatives are able to attend. Nothing extravagant. A simple and meaningful celebration is more than I ever could imagine it to be. I have all that I needed and so much more. There were no elaborate plans of going on a trip, eating out or stressing over a four course meal.
    Being 40s signifies a lot of changes in our body. It didn’t happen overnight. The weight gain adds a toll to our aching joints, not to mention the fat that seem to draw affinity in our belly and thighs. The decrease in muscle mass, bone density and hormone changes. Is there an extended warranty on our body parts?
    The pandemic forces our body and mind to slow down and prioritize what is important.
    Self care- it starts with a clear mind. A mental and health detox. Eating whole foods, back to the basics.
    Unplugging, disconnecting with social media and reconnecting with your passions.
    When I start making small changes, it had a domino effect in my relationships, well being, mental state. I start becoming a version of myself that I always wanted to be.

    We can live as productive and thrive in our 40s and beyond.

    Quotes on ageing and wisdom:
    “At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” Ann Landers
    “Listen to your elder’s advice. Not because they are always right, but because they have more experience of being wrong…”
    “We don’t stop laughing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop laughing.” – George Bernard Shaw
    “Most people don’t grow up. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging.”
    ― Maya Angelou
    “When you’re young, you always feel that life hasn’t yet begun—that “life” is always scheduled to begin next week, next month, next year, after the holidays—whenever. But then suddenly you’re old and the scheduled life didn’t arrive.
    ― Douglas Coupland
    “Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, for you shall only live it once. Be comfortable with growing older.” ~Louise Hay
    Take care of friendships, hold people you love close to you, take advantage of birthdays to celebrate fiercely. It’s the worrying — not the years themselves — that will make you less of a woman.” ~Patti LaBelle,
    “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” ~Abraham Lincoln
    “I love living. I love that I’m alive to love my age. There are many people who went to bed just as I did yesterday evening and didn’t wake this morning. ~Maya Angelou
    Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
    Maurice Chevalier
    Ageing is a privilege not a predicament.
    Martin Firrell
    Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
    Satchel Paige
    That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.
    Bob Hope
    Wear your years with pride, like a badge of honor, for you have conquered. You have thrived. You have survived!
    There’s one advantage to being 102. There’s no peer pressure

  • Selfishness in covid times

    There is a different sense of urgency in pandemic times. We all want to get in a safe position, away from fear, restlessness and worrying. It feels like 2021 has a great potential since we are all starting from the rock bottom. What it seems like is a continuation of the apocalypse. Groundhog day all over again in steroids.

    Nobody is complaining anymore. It seems that majority has adjusted to the safety procedures. We are still in survival mode, we go with the flow, and slowly we are adapting to the change.

    Sometimes it can be physically and emotionally straining. We have to preserve our sanity and grasp the reality. The more we have to take care of ourselves. Sometimes we have to be selfish. We have to prioritize what is important and what is not. We have to distance ourselves to what is draining our energy.

    There are things that causes unecessary stress and drama. Not all battles are worth indulging into.

    Worries and problems are part of life. We deal with them the best we can and tackle them as they come. It helps to have a worry journal. You can organize your thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper.

    Observing and respecting personal boundaries is a must. We can’t change other’s belief or opinion. It is not our job to agree with everything.

    We have our highs and lows. When we are happy, we tend to be lax and think we are invincible. Stay humble. Savor each joyous moment, because they soon be a memory. The bitter days wont last either.

    At the end of the day, we realize that the non trivial matters isnt worth sweating about. And we could focus on healing our hearts and mind.

  • Covid Vaccination Experience

    The moment has arrived that Covid vaccination is available for the general public. Getting the vaccination was a personal choice, not trying to be relevant or attention seeking, a lot of thought processing and skepticism , information seeking and prayers was involved.

    Vaccination Record Card

    There are numerous side effects and not to mention the horror stories of individuals having an allergic reaction to it. We had all joked about getting the Corona shot. It is all “fun and games” until it is your turn to get it. It is a casual conversation to common folks, if you are going to take it. I always tell that I will wait until I am ready.

    Me and my husband finally had the courage and took the first dose this weekend. My husband had us scheduled a few days ago when it became available, the process was quick and easy. A QR barcode that was emailed to be scanned at the premises. We were surprised that we don’t have to get out of the car.

    As we arrived at the location (fire station), there were several attendants that directed us to the site. It was only a few cars ahead of us, we had a late afternoon appointment. The attendant verified our information and asked if we ever had anaphylactic reaction with shots before. They handed us the list of (several) side effects and she read the consent forms and have us sign electronically.

    She give us the card which had the lot number and the vaccine manufacturer. She explained the the procedure and told us that afterwards we will be observed for 15 minutes across the parking lot. It was assuring that they told us what to expect, that we might have a fever, swelling in the site as with other vaccine reactions. The inoculation was painless. I felt the soreness of the arm afterwards.

    The researches on the after effects of the vaccines is still limited due to the time frame constructions. I try to not to read too much information on the internet. A lot of conspiracy theories and different political is nerve wracking.

    There are risks to be considered especially to the immuno compromised, trying to conceive or pregnant, the young and the old. Still a majority of the population remain undecided whether to take it or not. Getting the shot is not mandatory. It is a preventive measure, but we still have to observe the precautions. It is not a ticket to be have imprudent and reckless decisions.

    I’m thankful to have the opportunity share my experience. I have high hopes that whatever the outcome, that it would be for the best. Stay blessed and safe everyone!

  • If the timing is right

    The beginning of the new year heralds a lot of emotions, recollections of the distant past, regrets and comebacks. It signifies the things that you want to change and the good habits that you want to keep.

    But the new years eve is not the same as Cinderella’s transformation at midnight. It is more than that. We are still the same person with the same persona that can’t be fixed with a just a flicker of a magic wand. Our character is a summation of our thoughts, our fears and our ideals. In the Disney movie “Soul”, each of the personalities was assigned and honed to fit the individual. The main character was longing for that “Spark” of life. It is all that there is in living?

    Don’t we ask the same questions. Where is the lie? Is my thoughts fooling me? Am I suppose to be somewhere? Am I suppose to be someone living the dreams in a non existent parallel world? Our minds can only imagine the endless possibilities in store for us.

    Anxiety has become a staple in my life, it is debilitating, or the depression still is haunting. It is etched of the fiber of my being that I need to constantly face. Finding your motivation is something that you work on, like personal hygiene, you have to do it everyday. There are days that you loose all the spark of life and all you can feel is gloom.

    We find ourselves with the simple moments that breathes inspiration to our grief stricken soul. Looking back, the dull moments in the past are a catalyst that shape my viewpoint. In the midst of the insecurities, low self-esteem, and chaos in your mind, the overwhelming peace can still be sought. We pray more when our hearts are troubled. We don’t realize we are the “Lost souls” that needed to be saved. Hence,` I truly cannot rely on my own efforts.

    I can only pray for wisdom and for the right timing of the best things of yet to come.

  • What’s Truly Important on Mother’s day — Midlife Lunacies

    Receiving hand made cards, flowers, an extra special treatment for special women is always anticipated on Mothers day. The celebration brings sentimentality and deep appreciation to the great women who influenced, nurtured and cared for us. The commercialization aspect of this tradition forces great expectations and unnecessary guilt to strained relationships. To the demented elderly mother, who seldom get visits to the nursing home, to the […]

    via What’s Truly Important on Mother’s day — Midlife Lunacies

  • “Good job”

    I never stop telling my son “good job” whenever he accomplish an ordinary routine or simple task like remembering to brush his teeth without any prompting, answering his homework independently, finishing his dinner plate, swallowing bitter medicine, keeping basic manners and saying his graces.

    How would you feel if somebody told you that “You are doing a good job, “You are appreciated or “Thank you for your service”? When you hear kind words ,it makes your heart blush and it is good to know that what your are doing is making a difference to someone’s life. It makes you want to do more or do your very best.

    In times of crisis, It is a blessing to have a job that pays the bills. It is also a blessing to be of service even when we are not getting paid. It means that we are able, we have a sound body and mind, we are capable of lending a hand. We have a purpose.

    Being safe at home, we are keeping our family well-nourished physically, spiritually, and emotionally. We are at wit’s end struggling to balance our checkbook, not knowing when we will be able to join the workforce again, preparing a healthy menu, or just doing our best to manage the household while trying not having a meltdown.

    We may be staying home, but we can send comforting messages to a friend who is grieving a lost family member, someone who just tested positive for the virus, a burned-out co-worker, an anxious friend who just filed for unemployment. Would it make us smile if our neighbor, left a kind note at our doorstep? We are already making an impact by keeping a sound and open mind so we can offer ourselves to someone who needs prayer and assistance.

    We shouldn’t take for granted our children who are being a good sport while juggling online learning, playtime and newly-assigned chores. To the housekeepers, life coaches, mask sewers, bakers, freelancers, farmers, accountants, the volunteers who donates their time or money for a good cause, the social media entertainers, the writers, influencers, artists, the researchers, the scientists and vaccine developers and all who are working behind the scenes, we realize their importance more than ever.

    To the employers, understanding enough to keep their employees, while taking a direct hit themselves, to the shoppers who are supporting small businesses to keep their livelihood and the economy going, the food pantry workers, to the pastors devoting their time and sharing the the word online, the police officers keeping the peace, to the bankers, chemists, the engineers and IT folks, to those who are giving free online workshops, the keyboard warriors, the zoom/distance learning educators that are so understanding and hard trying not to laugh at the parents who are coaching behind the scenes, you all matter and your work is not in vain

    The grocery workers, delivery people, postal workers, drivers, garbage collectors, maintenance workers who are also exposed to the elements everyday, the caregivers, healthcare workers, nurses, pharmacists, laboratory technicians, phlebotomists, medical doctors, dentists, veterinarians, medical examiners, cleaning and cook staff, your work is remarkable. It takes a lot of will power to get up and do the job knowing that your health, physically, emotionally and mentally is at risk the moment you step out of the door. It keeps us grounded knowing that what we do affects people directly and indirectly.

    By saying “Good Job”, as if our life depended on it, will make a difference. To the overwhelmed, over fatigued, tired, worried, your words might be the only thing that will keep them afloat and keep on. Doing something small is extraordinary and inspiring to someone who needs it. It might be a lesson that we need to remember on a ordinary day or a not so ordinary time like this.

  • despair

    Today is unlike any other day, you are stuck in a limbo,

    In an endless twilight loop

    Collecting your thoughts rationally.

    Still,there wasn’t any clue.


    So this is how it feels like to be trapped,

    with nowhere else to run,

    It is getting worse before it gets better.

    Being helpless is not an easy feeling.


    To know that you are in mercy of a higher power.

    Is to be in a humbling state.

    The control of any situation you cannot take.

    There isn’t any place to run or hide.


    You cannot bargain,

    You are out of luck,

    You picked up your last straw

    The cards never in your favor anyway.


    You are angry because you can’t have your way.

    You wan’t to be in control.

    It is your right to be right.

    You can blame nobody but yourself.


    You wanted things to end right this moment.

    Why did I let myself fall to a trap?

    I wanted to unhear the voices of doom.

    To uncry my useless tears.


    I am not ready to let go,

    I could not move on just yet.

    I wanted to tore down a closed door

    I’m begging to please free my from my chains.


    A  dead end  brick wall with no way in plain sight.

    The agonizing truth that the pain will never dissipate.

    There is no other choice but to surrender.

    And prepare for the battle, to do it all over again.

  • The Givers

    In this time of financial hardship, it is hard to think of others, when you yourself is in need. In our own little ways, we can give a piece of ourselves. It may not be much, but it will be a lot when it will come from our hearts.

    Because He first love us, whatever we have now is already given to us. God’s timing is always right, for the times when we are in need, God always provides and never left us.

    I ask God to take away my pride. I asked God to open my heart and mind. Sometimes, I feel the burden of giving .That I should give because of responsibility. I couldn’t give without being bitter. I could’ve used the money for myself. Like a melting candle that is slowly burning, I couldn’t share my brightness.

    True giving is giving without getting anything in return. I felt proud when I give something. I expect gratitude and the accolade. Sometimes, we will never get the acknowledgment we deserve. I believe we received our reward first before we gave anything away. Giving doesn’t require an audience.

    God cannot be mocked.  We can say, that we will give when we are ready. We say, Lord, I will give, when I win the lottery.  I will give when I receive my raise. Sometimes, the time never comes. God provides us with the capability and strength to give. Oftentimes, we have doubts. We lack empathy. There is no time to give but the present.

    One of the clients, once shared how she was blessed by sharing. She didn’t have the money to spare to begin with. She said that instead of playing the lottery, she would use rather send the money to the needy. Every charity letter she received, she put a few dollars. She always share what she have. A little generosity goes a long way. How can someone who doesn’t have much be that generous!. God is be pleased not by the amount we give but by opening our hearts to give.

    To be used as an instrument to spread the flame of kindness, let us be a beacon of hope once more. We may be that only person to show kindness someone who had lost their faith in God. We may be that sign that someone has been praying for.  I pray that He can use us to share the blessing to others that they may know Him more.

    God is not finished with you yet. He can change you. He can remove all the bitterness and hate. God doesn’t call the qualified He qualifies the called, as the mighty saying goes. If you feel that your life is over, that you don’t have anything to give. That you are too frail, too old, too weak, God can use your life. Our labor will never be in vain.

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