• Special Treatment

    F585EE8D-FF73-44C4-9054-9F20F0A0E52E.jpegEveryone is not immune to pain and suffering. One day we are on top of the world, the next moment, we are on the bottom of the wheel. Everybody has problems, no matter how big or small, we all are carrying a burden invisible to the naked eye,only we know.

    When a stressful situations arise, our body goes into a fight of flight mode as a survival response.  Our brains are wired to process what is happening and the solutions. To a person with anxiety, this can be very difficult. Thousands of thoughts  rush through an frantic mind such as terror, hopelessness, and impending doom.

    Unfortunate things can happen that is beyond our control. Anxious thinking tells us to expect the worse possible scenario. Fear overpowers the senses and can cloud the judgement. We all been in tough situations and we all deal with our problems differently.

    In this dog-eat dog world, at times, there is a lack of sympathy to a person who is undergoing a hard time.  To some people who encounter same  experience, would say, been there, done that, would make the person feel that his problem is insignificant.

    If only we there is a sign we can stick on our foreheads telling them to be easy on us because we are having a hard time. For someone who just had a tragedy, sickness or even loss it is difficult to go on and act as if nothing has happen.

    There are people who will be insensitive to your pain.  There are a few people who will truly emphasize with your situation. The co-workers won’t care if you just have a baby or if your family member is in the hospital as long as you do your job, there is no excuse. I realized that we should be understanding  even if we are not given special treatment because of our situation.

    Following the tragic event, the difficult part is getting back on the normalcy of life. You have a new reality after the loss. There are responsibilities that you still have to fulfill. You have to get your life together as simple it may sound, it is hard to pick up the pieces and start over.

    Thankfully, there are people who genuinely care, even if you don’t ask them, they will lend an ear, a shoulder and a home cooked meal and cake.  Even in our down time, our prayers will always be heard and answered. We thank God for the good times and when the problems arises, we can depend on Him for strength and comfort.

  • Insanity


    Did you ever had the feeling when suddenly your heart starts racing, chest pounding, and you find yourself restless and gasping for breath, a feeling like your mind is detaching from your physical body? You want to scream on top of your lungs but you cannot utter a sound.

    Even simple tasks like showering and grooming becomes unbearable. You refuse to get out of bed. Wanting to sleep and waste the whole day away. It’s not because you want to be lazy. It seems it’s the only way to feel better. But the cycle continues. You feel even worse than before.

    You refuse to go out of the house. You are afraid of the uncertainty. You miss work and procrastinate. Yo do not care about the due dates anymore.

    Your feel that your health is failing. That the foods you eat are destroying your body.

    You feel that youth is slowly drifting away, Your body is deteriorating day by day. There is no time to change.

    The things that you enjoy doing don’t interest you anymore.

    You feel that you are doing nothing right.

    You feel that no one cares. Every body is against you. You don’t care about yourself.

    There is a massive burden in your chest that you need to unload.

    These thoughts are controlling my mind.

    It feels paralyzing.

    That you want whatever it is, to end soon.

    I feel defeated.

    But Then…

    I forgot how God brought me out from the pits of desperation. I forgot how God nursed my soul from brokenness. I forgot how God saved me from my self-destruction.

    I felt the breaths of life entering from my nostrils back to sanity. As if God knew what I needed this time. I felt your spirit from a person who underwent a difficult situation. To be courageous after a defeat lies the true strength.

    When there was no way out, you led me to an open door. You nourished my body back to health. I feel the vigor rushing back to my senses. I regained the will to go on.  Forgive me Lord for ever doubting your presence.

    Thank you for saving me from myself.



  • Sealed With a Kiss (SWAK)

    I don’t remember when the last time I received a hand written letter send via mail.  If you are a 90s or 80s gal like me,  receiving a cassette tape or CD  with all your cherished love songs , a scrapbook with witty captions, and scribbled notes will always bring nostalgia. 

    I don’t remember when the last time I received a hand written letter send via mail.  If you are a 90s or 80s gal like me,  receiving a cassette tape or CD  with all your cherished love songs , a scrapbook with witty captions, and scribbled notes will always bring feelings of nostalgia.

    In this modern era, emails, texts, e-cards replaced traditional love letters, hallmark cards. Like the old cliche goes, is it really the thought that counts? It is nice to feel extra special when being thought of, and any effort big or small is appreciated, in my opinion.

    Whenever I think of valentine’s day, I remember the innocent childhood days. We had our crushes and wrote love letters anonymously, hoping that they know that you existed. We didn’t even want them to reply, we were just content admiring them from a far.

    In high school, strong impulses and irrational behavior accompanies raging hormones with puberty. For many, we experienced having our so called first love and first heart break during those years.  During the month of February AKA the love month, we had fundraising events for our school.  I remember we had kissing booths, auctions and proms. What I look forward to every year was sending letters through a SWAK mail. The mechanics of the program is that you can anonymously send your love letters for a cost.

    The letter folded in a certain way would always be signed by: Your Secret Admirer. I remember sending them to random people just for fun.  My bonker brain didn’t know how to react when I received a letter with the initials of a boy I liked. I had poor self-esteem during that time and didn’t answer the letter back.

    Fast forward twenty years, it’s that time of the year again. I look forward to my son’s classroom valentines exchange. Being a frugal non-crafty mom, I usually get the boxed valentines when they be on sale the year before. Do you ever have that moment when you cannot find where you put away stuff?   Last year, we had oriental trading lego hearts goodie bags for my son’s special education class. This year, they have more kids in his class which is good because he gets to socialize with neurotypical kids. My son is very fond of his only friend who is a girl. Im just ecstatic that he had made a friend.


    We all have some funny, unforgettable, embarrassing, romantic valentine memories. I am excited to hear your stories too. Please leave a comment below. XOXO



%d bloggers like this: