• The Love That Never Happened

    You came in the right moment when I was down, I needed someone to talk to. As if you knew that I needed you. You shared your intimate thoughts with me, your aspirations and your frustrations.  I am looking forward to the day when our paths will collide, which is next to impossible.

    I could get lost staring at your dark brown eyes and feel as if the the clock stop ticking. Your voice is of a soothing sound, the kind that refreshes the soul after a long day. How can I ever forget your perfectly tousled hair and your infectious laugh?

    There is no sadness when we were together. Being with you, brings out the best in me. The thought of you comes to my mind whenever I hear a romantic song. You are the person I always imagined that I will end up with. So  I thought.

    The idea of you is that of perfection, unblemished by reality. The what-ifs, and should’ve been and the whys of an almost relationship keeps me longing for more. The thought of you still brings an excitement I cannot contain.

    I will never know if the feelings were ever mutual. You send me mixed signals that I could not comprehend. Reality hits that there will be no answers and closures to this insanity.

    Why is the love that never happened is hard to forget? How can you miss the mouth you never kissed, the hands you never held, the love that never existed? The relationship that never came to actualization?

    To a love that has no beginning and no ending, The idea of you will remain preserved. In a parallel world, our lines will never ever meet.  Somewhere, in this time, you exist, in a distant memory, there you remain.

     

  • YOLO

     

    In the age of millenial craze and madness, who doesn’t know  what YOLO stands for. The phrase which is popularized by the singer Drake, stands for “You Only Live Once.” It is similar to carpe diem concept which means to seize the day, which I think doesn’t give out the reckless vibe.

    Does this YOLO mantra applies to a simple everyday life? Do we dare think out of the box and out of our comfort zone? Enjoy life to your heart’s content as to act on a whim in which people may say, ” Are you out of your mind?”

    Instagram influencers and you tube sensations make us believe that their life is perfect with all the luxurious trips, possessions and all that fortune can buy. To an average Joe, we can’t give in to the impulsiveness like there is no tomorrow. We live vicariously through the exotic island vacation posts that we see in social media and dream one day we can be able to afford one.

    I believe there is a fine line between  living within your means versus affording your lifestyle. An extravagant vacation that is  carefully planned and saved for is something that you don’t get to do too often. An all expense paid trip is more relaxing, not worrying about an insurmountable debt, is worthwhile than an expensive trip to Paris.

    We all for once had drooled over a Louis Vuitton or a Chanel purse or Gucci patent shoes. I am following a fashion blogger,recently, she posted her designer shoes and purses collection. Some of the followers took her display negatively and commented that she is a show off. The blogger replied that she splurges and also purges as well and sell the items she doesn’t need. To the public eye, it is too extravagant to have different colors of the same style of shoes and outfit. To her defense, what she does as an insta-blogger, having variety of outfits and accessories is what their job entails. While everyone is entiltled to their opinion, everyone has a different story to tell. Bragging is always a recipe for envy, jealousy and discontentment.

    I still like having branded shoes, accessories and leisure trips, budget permitting (which it never does!) I used to be obsessed with a certain brand that every time there’s a sale, I could never get enough. Like an addiction withdrawal, the urge to acquire more things that I don’t need, took a lot of self-control. What is excessive shopping to others maybe an outlet to someone who is overwhelmed with everyday stress. I learned that although it is nice to have material things, it is not the gauge of happiness.

    It is natural to enjoy the small and big things without having guilt and regret. Everyone has a different situation in life and we should live our own not theirs. We only live once and a life that is shared and enjoyed to the fullest extent is a life well lived in my opinion.

  • When silent treatment is not so silent

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    Do somebody you know ignores you or gives you the cold shoulder for no apparent reason? I am so guilty of these. I sulk & keep things to myself to avoid confrontation and drama. As a millennial lingo describes it:  You is petty and you is extra!

    What is sulking? According to Longman’s dictionary, to sulk means to be silently angry and refuse to be friendly or discuss what is annoying or upsetting you. Giving someone the silent treatment screams attention. It may be your friend, parent, child, significant other or co-worker, the list goes on. Your text messages are unseen or deliberately ignored. It doesn’t take much to notice that someone is ignoring you or avoiding eye contact. The sulker wants you to feel invisible, like you don’t exist or matter. Then you think if there’s something you might have did wrong or said for them to avoid you like a plague.

    What triggers us when we give people the silent treatment? When things don’t go our way, instead of discussing the problem, we remain in a perpetual state of bad mood. We  stubbornly think we are right, refuse to compromise. We want the other person to feel that they have wronged us or did something that we do not approve of.  More than the sullenness, we tend to shut out and avoid any human contact.

    What do we do in situations when we are given the silent treatment? The worse that we can do is to also give them a taste of their own medicine. When we give them the upper hand if we give in to what they want… To feel guilty and miserable…

    Give them space. Time will heal everything as the saying goes.

    Pause and Think.  There are words that you blurt out not to be disrespectful, but the tone and manner you deliver it, may have a negative connotation. There is a right timing and place for these kind of conversations.

    Be calm…Do things that you normally do .Don’t get affected by the situation. Try not to overthink.

    Reach out.  You did your part even if they choose to ignore you.

    Be kind, be sympathetic. You don’t know what their going through.

    Action speaks louder than words. Let them know you genuinely care by showing sweet gestures.

    Be open and honest.  Repressed emotions lead to stress and anxiety.

    Let go of the pride. It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong. Learn to accept the shortcomings of person involved.

    When in doubt, always choose love.

    Although we sometimes have the urge to use the silent tactic when dealing with our own problems, we should be aware of the consequences it may bring. It is liberating to be free of the heavy heart, restless mind and soul.

    Have you ever dealt of being in these kind of situation before? I would like to hear your thoughts or experiences in the comments section.

  • Low carb Avocado ice cream

    This incredibly easy avocado ice cream recipe takes just 10 minutes. Even better, there’s no added sugar

    The texture is thick and creamy, obviously cold, and the most important part, delicious.

    There’s really no reason not to enjoy this recipe as a healthy alternative for ice cream whether it’s for a snack or after-meal dessert.

    WHAT YOU NEED

    1 Chilled all purpose cream

    1 tsp MCT oil

    3 medium sized avocado

    3 tbsp cream cheese

    4-5 Sachets of sugarfree sweetener

    3 Tbsp whipping cream

    Whipped cream

    WHAT TO DO

    Cut avocado in half, discard pit and scoop out flesh.

    In a blender, combine avocado, whipping cream, all purpose cream, mct oil, sugarfree, and cream cheese

    Blend using a stick blender (blend for 3-5 minutes)

    chill for 1-2 hours

    Top it with whipped cream

    Serve and enjoy.

  • Miso soup using Shiritaki noodles

    There’s no more relaxing than to make a warm soup when it’s cold and rainy outside.

    Heres comforting dish that you can enjoy during the rainy season traditional Japanese soup with low carb noodles (Shiritaki).

    WHAT YOU NEED

    2 (200g) Shiritaki Noodles


    (3 Servings) Instant Miso Soup (Paste)

    Nori (I use regular and wasabi flavored nori)

    2 Large Eggs (boiled)

    Petsay Baguio

    WHAT TO DO

    Boil 2 eggs

    Prepare the Noodles

    Rinse Shiritaki noodles for 3-5 minutes in running water

    Boil water add Shiritaki noodles and boil for 5 Minutes

    Drain

    Prepare Miso Soup

    Empty 3 servings of each package into pan add 480ml of hot water. Stir well. Boil for 2 mins then add Shiritaki noodles

    Add petchay baguio, Egg and Nori

    Serve and Enjoy.

  • On Rants and Vents

    I have read a lot of articles regarding positivity, mindfulness, meditation, spirituality in search for help for my anxiety issues. One of the articles that I read was that ranting or venting is healthy way of airing out frustrations.

    Have you ever felt a moment when your heart starts beating fast that it feels like its about to burst open? That your chest starts to rip apart and you don’t have any control over your emotions anymore. You start to snap at and yell at people. Your judgements become cloudy and you want every one to leave you alone at that precise moment. Its like nothing the heck matters anymore.

    I still don’t know if I am experiencing hormonal changes (PMS), panic attacks, depression, stress, or anger issues. Or from the daily spiritual warfare we encounter everyday. When I had these episodes, it is usually triggered by an event, what somebody said or done that make you want to strangle the person ( if you know what I mean)

    Thankfully, these episodes don’t last long. Sometimes it last for a week or so. This time it only lasted a day. Sleeping and isolation usually does the trick for me, but this time I woke up restless and heart pounding even faster.  Being in social media for lengthy periods of time only made it worse. I could not focus on reading scriptures either. The calmness came only after the warm shower and cancelling the noise in my thoughts.  God was trying to teach me something, I just didn’t paid attention on what the lesson was about.

    I am myself again. I don’t want to be that person who clumsy, unfocused, detached from the world. Its like the earth start revolving again and its not only about myself anymore. Its about God’s grace that continually nourishes my soul to be more compassionate and understanding. I have to constantly reassure myself that these issues will come back, and I cannot handle it alone.

    Ranting is healthy because it makes you evaluate your thoughts before you act accordingly to your feelings. It has a negative effect too when you complain long enough without getting to a solution. Being angry and sad are normal feelings too that need to be vented out to achieve balance.

    What are your tips in staying sane when your feeling down? Does ranting publicly or writing help too? I would like to hear your opinion on these. Please leave a comment below.

  • “Me time”

    Here you are nearing your forties, you feel as if your life is drifting away. You are still living from paycheck to paycheck, you struggle to meet ends meet for your family and those who are depending on you.

    You still have dreams, to better your life, to live comfortably with a modest income that suits your lifestyle for now.  No matter how hard we try to have security, what lies ahead in the future still remains bleak.

    Your family and relatives depend on you. On your capacity to provide. They take advantage because you are giving. They ask for more of what they can get from you. You don’t get appreciated. It becomes your lifelong responsibility to be there for them.

    Your children, spouse, and family’s welfare comes first. You put their needs first before your own. You perform your duties as a spouse, a parent to your children, a daughter/son caring for the elderly parent without any hesitation.

    In the process of putting others first, your body and mind suffer the most neglect. You feel the most guilt if you sneak a time for yourself, or if you eat the last piece of brownie. You become vulnerable, you want to scream until you don’t feel anymore pain.

    You can’t give something that you don’t have. If you don’t be compassionate to yourself,  you won’t be able to give yourself to the people who needs you. Taking care of your well-being and giving yourself time to process and identify all your emotions.

    Give yourself some time for de stressing, a foot spa, a invigorating massage, a mani-pedi, a new haircut, reading a good book, taking a hiking trip or doing something to focus on your health and mind can really do wonders and boost your self-worth. Give God our gratitude for His infinite blessings and pray to ease our heartaches.

     

  • the excruciating talks

    As an introvert, I like listening more that talking. I rather not engage in  meaningless conversations . Small talks are uneasy for me. Not everyone can understand what you really mean. Sometimes, I get caught off guard that even after a heated argument, the conversation still plays on my head, thinking if I had said the right things, or if I had defended my point well without compromising my values. We can control the words that come out of our mouths and choose the words that shouldn’t be said. On the other hand, the hurtful words do come out from the mouth of the people you love,

    Talks that I rather not hear:

    unsolicited opinions: this can range from: your child’s behavior, how to raise your child, that translates to how horrible you are in parenting.

    insensitive remarks/ stating the obvious: instead of a casual greeting, making a remark about a person’s weight gain or loss is uncalled for. There are a lot of factors why a person is heavy and assuming that they just a lazy couch potato is very insensitive. Being tactless in situations that doesn’t warrant your expertise can hurtfully destroy ones’ confidence.

    He/she will tell you how not to spend your money.  Not to splurge on anything nice for yourself. Not to spend money on unnecessary things or anything uneconomical and wasteful. They will judge the price tag on any small and big purchases that you carefully thought of buying. Not to spend money on dining out unless there is an occasion.

    Instead of being happy for other people success in the wealth or looks department, he/she say that they are only showing off , acquire their riches illegally or has had a procedure done.

    If you are still unmarried, single, divorce, he/she tells you that all your relationships are doomed from the start.

    Telling you not to go to the church saying that they are just after your money. The only religion that is right is the one that his/her forefathers had.

    The only opinion that is right is his/hers only. He/she is a master manipulator. Don’t let his/her charms deceive you:

    Treating people nicely because they are well off and mocking those with poor stature

    Looking down on people who’s not fortunate to have a good career or education.

    Doing good for someone you know can repay you. Giving favors to those who are well-off because he/she expecting to be repaid

    He/she likes to compare you to your peers, your siblings or your schoolmates. How well they are doing is in comparison. Why aren’t you more like them?

    His/her favorite sport is meddling in your life. They have the front seat as to being a spectator to the day that you will finally crack up.

    He/she enjoys belittling you when you make poor choices.

    He/she criticizes all that you eat and saying that its unhealthy.,

    He/she will tell you that your lazy when you take a day off from work

    He/she uses you when it’s convenient. When he.she gets what he/she wants, you become their doormat.

    He/she likes to criticize your cooking, your driving and how you manage your household.

    He/she wants you to fail only so he/she can tell you I told you so

    He/she want you to experience the suffering he/she had while growing up in harsh times.

    When your doing well, he/she still tells you that you still don’t deserve nice things.

    He/she enjoys seeing you miserable when something unfortunate happens, he/she blames your carelessness.

    He/she are happy with the idea that you will drown in debt because of buying things that you want.

    He/she will tell you that your life choices are wrong. Your marriage is a failure. That it is all your fault

    He/she wants to destroy your relationship and wants you to have an eternal debt to him/her the time when they do you a favor. Putting you on a endless guilt trip.

    Without offering any solution, he/she knows you have a problem, and he/she is making it appear to be worse than it already has.

    You share, you give him/her your time at your wits end, it is not enough

    These people that make your life a little less joyful do exist. They take you in the mire with them, making it unbearable just thinking of it. They treat you like you have no worth with their endless judgement. It is better to distance yourself and ignore the negativities than to wallow in grief.

  • No Bake Low Carb Cheesecake

    This easy low-carb cheesecake pretty much sums up what we all love easy and healthy.

    I was struggling with my low carb diet and this recipe gave me something to look forward to when i needed that sweet fix.

    WHAT YOU NEED

    For the crust

    2 oz Butter (melted)

    1 and 1/2 Cup of Almond Flour

    1 Tsp Cinnamon powder

    2 Sticks of Equal Gold

    For the filling

    227g Cream Cheese

    1 Tsp parmesan cheese

    1/2 Cup All purpose cream

    1 Packet of gelatin i use knox

    1 Tsp Vanilla extract

    1 Tsp Virgin coconut oil

    1 Tsp MCT oil

    4-5 sticks of Equal Gold

    WHAT TO DO

    For the crust

    Combine in a round pan almond flour, sugarfree, cinnamon and melted butter

    Use fork to blend everything together

    Use spatula to press firmly into round container

    (put crust in refrigerator for atleast an hour so it can harden before adding the filling)

    For the filling

    Dissolve gelatin in 1 cup boiling water until powder have completely dissolved.

    I use immersion blender to beat creamcheese, sugarfree, vanila extract, parmesan cheese, mct oil, vco and all purpose cream

    Pour in only half of the gelatine mixture into beaten cream

    The mixture will thicken up as it cools in the refrigerator. So, I put the bowl in the refrigerator for about 30-45 minutes, stirring every 10-15 minutes.

    Take the bowl of the filling mixture out of the refrigerator when it has thickened enough to a spreadable consistency.

    Take a rubber spatula to evenly spread the filling into the prepared crust.

    Chill for the next 2-3 hours

    You can serve it plain or dress it up with your favorite toppings like fresh berries, whipped cream, cocoa powder and your favorite sugarfree chocolate syrup.

    Serve and enjoy.

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